Yesterday was my birthday and for the first time in over four years, it was an amazing, awesome day spent with my SL family and my RL family. I was “spoiled” yesterday and in a good way, not a bratty way. It’s been many years in the making, but finally I felt like the day was something to celebrate and not something to shy away or hide from. I’m not going into detail here about the things that happened in my past to make me who I am today, those who know me know, but it’s private “stuff” and not meant for this blog.
Over this last year I have grown from a shy, introverted, victimized woman to something to be proud of…and in just a short year. This time last year, I was hiding out by myself. I wouldn’t socialize. I couldn’t look people in the eye. I felt worthless and as if I didn’t belong anywhere, especially this world. Those of you who haven’t been in an abusive relationship won’t understand, but those of you who have will get it. It’s not something you get over quick and easy and move on. It’s something that affects you for many years, if not the rest of your life. Therapy, family, friends and more have all helped me discover who I am and what I want to be and work towards and with their support, I’ve come a long way.
So this last year, I spent following my therapists advice and spent it getting to know and like myself again. I learned that I am worthy to be with someone awesome and that I can be who I am: sassy, smart, funny, bratty at times and all around mischievous to make special people laugh and remain kind, loving and polite at the same time. I can do all of these things and not feel guilty because of it. I can speak my mind, feel my feelings, without owning another persons feelings. I can open up a little at a time and talk about things that are important to me and not feel guilty if someone doesn’t agree with me. I can have a disagreement with someone I love and not worry about being “punished” for it. This has been a year of growth for me and one that has brought me to a whole new journey and brought some wonderful people into my life. So, yesterday was my special day with my SL family who showed me what it means to be special. It may not seem like a big thing to some of those reading this, but for me, it is huge culminating from a year of many big steps in the right direction towards my future.
But there is one lesson to learn and share from this year: It is okay to look back at your past and see how you’ve changed or look at the things you want to change about yourself. The trick is to not dwell on the past and make it your whole future. Don’t cyber stalk your ex because you’re curious about what they may or may not be doing with their lives. Don’t SL profile stalk your ex to see what they say about you in their profile. Because all of that doesn’t matter and isn’t fair to your current partner. What matters is you and what you plan to do with your future and how you want to move forward. In the end, you’ll be much happier focusing on the present and looking towards the future, than you will dwelling on the past and the unhappiness there.
To continue my journey and start off the new year well, I went exploring today, even though I could hardly move, I didn’t want to let that stop me from seeing something new and fun. I took several pictures, but they are on lower graphics due to my graphics card being almost incompatible with SL at the moment. I’m hoping to get a new card in the near future, but for now, everyone will have to deal with no clouds. For my first adventure after the new year, I chose to go to Dreams of Secrets from Pandora Box, who has a wonderful collection of sims set up in some of the most beautiful landscaping and builds I have ever seen in Second Life. Below is the slideshow of my journey.
Note: For some reason, WordPress will not let me upload any pictures so I’m using Flickr for the time being for my posts. To see more pictures on my flick, just click on the slideshow.