“If we can’t speak highly of someone,
then we shouldn’t say anything at all.” ~Dhar Mann
Lately I’ve been listening to an inspirational speaker I happened to run across on my FB feed one day, Dhar Mann. He’s amazing. His videos all have a lesson to learn from them that starts with a story. Who knew when I woke up yesterday that his teachings about rumors, gossipers, and people treating others, even friends, unkindly would come in handy.
The one that fit my recent situation is the one about a woman who makes mean comments about someone she doesn’t know and hasn’t ever talked to based off what she sees on the surface. Gossiping with her friend in a parking lot, she doesn’t seem to care if the woman hears her or not. Then a little later, she’s going into a job interview and guess who shows up to interview her? The lady she made fun of and gossiped about in the parking lot.
The lesson learned here is this:
“When we speak negatively about someone, it may feel like innocent words and comments, we may feel as if those words are harmless, and no one’s ever going to find out, but in reality, those words can tear someone to pieces, causing someone so much pain and suffering, that those pieces may never be put back together. What’s important to remember is if we can’t speak highly of someone then we shouldn’t say anything at all because if we can’t be the masters of our mouth, then we could end up as slaves to our words, and often, the bad words we say about someone else end up hurting us more than anyone else.” ~ Dhar Mann
This lesson is true whether it is a stranger you are talking about or a friend. No matter what, your friend will somehow find out. It is unkind to talk about your friend behind their back while claiming to be so innocent to other people. I have a lot of struggles at the moment that I don’t have the patience or the time for people’s gossip. It is one thing when talking to your sister or boyfriend in private, where no one can hear you and even then I don’t gossip about other people. To hear accusations saying otherwise is hurtful, mean, petty, immature and stupid. (Wonder how many more adjectives I can put in there)
In the end, my feelings were hurt and my trust was broken which is something that I’ll have to work through. As my sister says, I have to remind myself that this incident reflects more on the character of the person vs my character. That’s something I have to keep reminding myself as I work through all my other crap too because while the comments may seem small to others, it was the tip of the iceberg to me.
You see, my day starts with medicine every morning and testing my sugar after a night of sleeplessness because my dad, who has dementia, roams the house with his walker. His wheels are loud and sometimes he runs into the wall in his bathroom, which is right off my bedroom. Then if I’m having breathing problems, that adds to more restless sleep and sometimes the cats staring at me while I try to sleep. It used to be my cat, Robin, would sit next to me and when I would stop breathing in my sleep, she would hit me on the head. Let me tell you, that would shock anyone out of a sleep. But since she passed over the rainbow bridge a few years ago, I no longer have a support animal and no longer have the kitty waking me up. After a sleepless night, waking up to take my medicine and test my blood glucose, I am exhausted. This doesn’t count my other medical problems, one of which we’re not sure what it is because I haven’t been able to see a doctor while we’re in quarantine. Recently, you can add a 99.6 F temp and bad allergies and some off/on asthma attacks.
My day is full of trying to keep my energy up, worrying about friends in areas of the world worse off than my little corner is, and trying to keep my head above water with my anxiety and agoraphobia peaking at times. Some days I sit here and want to give up but I never will because I am not a quitter. Like my sister says my plate is always full but I seem to eat it, wash the plate and put it away to be full another day.
When it comes to gossip, I don’t have the patience or the time for it. Like the Dhar Mann video story teaches, if you can’t speak highly of someone, just don’t say anything at all. Unless you know the full story of what that person is going through, you know nothing at all.
Closing this here, Adventurites! Stay safe, stay alert, but not anxious… we’re in the middle of a pandemic but we don’t have to forget our humanity…or our kindness to others. Laters! XOXO ~LA
See on Flickr.
Head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 1.0
Body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V5.0.2
Skin: Amara Beauty – Kenna beauty box fair – BOM LeLutka Evo
Eyes: Avi-Glam – Glam Eyes
Hair: TRUTH HAIR – Paradise – Blonde
Tattoo 1 (Upper): Juna – Milly tattoo Woman
Tattoo 2 (Legs): (GIFT) MoZeR – Butterfly Tattoo black.::MAITREYA::.
Nails: Go Frock Yourself – Chevron Pink Maitreya Nail Appliers (see Full AD Here)
Ear cuffs: (Yummy) Curated Butterfly Ear
Rings: Ama. – Spring Roses Ring Set [Maitreya Exp]
Bikini Top: MOoH! Shanna bikini (Top only shown here, see Full AD Here)
Shorts: Tres Blah – Marlow Denim Shorts
Shoes: Eudora3D – Chippewa Wedges (Maitreya) FATPACK (see Full AD Here)
Pose: Diversion – Book Lover – 1 (Fatpack comes with book props)
Location: Luanes World